I was texting with a friend recently about life and work. I asked her if she was going to return to her job next year, as she has had some “ups’ and “downs” recently. She said, “Yes, they need me. I need to be needed.” That statement made me pause. Wow. Is this what I have been feeling lately? No, it’s silly. I know I am right where I am supposed to be, but……..maybe?
My reply: “We all do.”
I have been sitting on this for a couple of days now, contemplating where I have been “emotionally” lately. My life has gone through some changes over the past couple of years. I felt it was time for me to make a move with my job, my kids have grown and are making life choices for themselves and their families, and my health has been on this crazy roller coaster. Not to mention, I have hit that dreaded “mid-life” time warp.
All of these changes are good and even necessary – God-ordained – but what in the world is my problem? Could it be that I am struggling with being needed? Yes, I am. Wow, that is pretty humbling.
I remember what I’ve always shared with my children: that our identity is found in Christ, not in our jobs or our daily roles. I don’t think I am alone in realizing that living out this truth is easier said than done.
For many years, my identity was firmly rooted in being a wife, a mother, and working the same job. I knew exactly what was expected of me and who I was in those roles. I am struggling with the transition and the feeling of no longer being needed in the ways I once was. I find myself wondering what I might be forgetting or what else I should be doing. I have more time to think and process, as it feels strange to see things continue without my involvement.
If you have never sat with these questions, they are difficult to process. They force you to take a step back and realize that you may not be as important as you once thought you were.
- Ephesians 2:8-10 ” For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast, For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
“So that no one may boast” – ouch! I am purpose-built, though perhaps not for the reasons I often imagine. Any purpose not focused on Christ will eventually fade away, and it leads to an important question: once these things are gone, what do I have left?
I don’t believe wanting to feel needed is a bad thing; in fact, I think it is a necessity of life. However, I find myself asking: when everything else is stripped away, can I still offer something of worth? Will I still be able to say, “It is well”?
